autosmuppet | 004 // just dance on fire

[ action; Welp.

Bro could say that tailor is a pretty kosher job as far as jobs go. Yes, he is entirely satisfied with this choice in career, and not bored even in the slightest. It's like Mayfield analyzed him and spoke to his truest of true callings, by which he means it went "oh he kinda likes sewing all right then take the most side-eyed career you can get." Actually, all the more suspicious manly drone behavior is kind of a plus. He only wishes they were easier to rock the boat with.

So yes, to make a long story short, Mister Strider is finally actually doing stuff in his new career as a tailor instead of idly sitting around in the store poking at shit. Hey, it's thread and needles, he can handle that. Maybe even snag some to take home if he's cool about it. Taking all the clients and flash-step measuring, that's just the way to be.

Don't worry about the sword. He's just very attached to it. Moral support since Lil Cal's not around.

Now he only has to get around to fabric and stuffing.... ]

[ phone, evening; ]

So this is the nine to five lifestyle, huh. Get up and walk on over to trouser central, live the most exciting damn existence since Cher's second-to-last last tour, do it again tomorrow. Been a while since I went out into the bona fide workforce.

Pretty cute. Not my style but you won't hear me gettin' all butthurt over a new routine. Even if it's amazing everyone didn't just lose their shit like monkeys in a barfight when they realized they had nothing to do in this decade. Takes tenacity. Gotta respect the survivors.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well shit son, here I thought you brought your own. Unless you planned on getting half-strangled by a beautifully tailored pair of pants.

Oh so I need some sort of ritual offering to begin this process?

Your firstborn should do.

For a scarf? Sounds fair.

Yeah I thought so too. Great deal, brings in all the paying customers.

Okay yeah whoever he is he's yours.

Deal, kid. [ He'll be back with a scarf, not even shitting you. ]

[ and his first born ectobiological son i guess belongs to you bro.

which means you... belong to yourself??

that's probably for the best. ]

Pleasure making transactions of dubious legality with you.

[ Awww yis, ultimate freedom. ] It's what I'm good at. Surprised a drone didn't break your neck throwin' a scarf around it already.

Drone mom got replaced by a real person so she's been off my back. Makes things easier, gives me more space that sort of thing. Not a bad deal.

Lucky shit. Your sister-in-law's just as up in my grill as fresh roadkill.

Told you that was a bad idea.

Young and foolish, rushing into a marriage like that. I'll regret it the rest of my life, bitter and drunk.

At least you aren't the type to cut and run. Unless that's what you decide to do.

Nah, I can probably just keep her in a closet or something. Or maybe take the closet for myself.

Waste of a perfectly good closet if you ask me.

Could've kept so many other things in there. [ Like smuppets. He could have made more smuppets and turned that baby into a regular trap. ]

[ actually he knows what bro stores in... everything. hm. ] On second thought maybe the closet wife idea is a good one.

I solemnly swear to bring her out for special occasions.

You should at least take her out for walks sometimes.

We'll see if she asks nicely. Which she probably will. Bitches come with crazy class in these parts.

It's the fifties. Better times. I think granting sufferage really screwed things up.

Or they were all just super good at hiding how fucking messed up they were. Dunno.